Is this it?

Elliot sat next to me, pouting because I was folding laundry and not holding her. Blaine offered his lap, but she wanted nothing of it. 

He blew her a kiss.

 “It hit the wall,” she stated with complete seriousness. Apparently she wanted nothing of his kisses either.

I’m sitting at home with my three littlest, coughing children that they are, while Blaine heads to church with the older ones. I’m not used to only littles. If you only have a couple, young and close in age, take courage. This is not for the faint of heart. 

Pierce moved to the couch in the night, and this morning the cushion is wet from a diaper fail. It’s washed and on the clothesline. I’ll have to sew it before the day is over. Cushion covers do not hold up to the many washings necessary around here. Leather. Leather is the way to go. It’s so very washable. Of course, that couch is cold at first, and not nearly so cozy… So he chose the fabric one instead.

The septic… the one that is “small for a 1280 square foot house”… The very same 1280 get that 10 people reside in… backed up this week. It’s the 3rd time in 7 years we’ve had to have it pumped. It’s doing fabulously, in other words. Yet, when I was mopping my bathroom and hallway to cleanse it from its toilet water bath, ‘fabulous’ was a word I stated only in sarcasm.

It’s always something.

Just when I think I’m getting ahead, something reminds me I’m not. Everything I do today, in some form, will need to be redone again tomorrow.

It’s hard not to lose heart. 

Is this really all there is? 

Is this not enough? Why does this seem so insignificant? Truly, is there something greater I should be doing? Discontentment is a powerful thing. Just when I have been given the desires of my heart – all that I ever wanted – I struggle with the mundaneness of it all. 

He who created a good work in me has much to teach me yet. In the meantime, all I know to do is to preach truth to myself, in an attempt to learn and grow in the knowledge and likeness of my Creator.