Dear Pierce,

They make these contraptions called binkies. They can be there when I’m not available.

You know. Like All. Night. Long.

You should try it sometime. One night soon, you’ll be on your own. That new habit of grunting at me to roll over every two hours so you can get a fresh supply? It’s not so funny, Dude. I love you, but I need sleep too.

Love,

Momma