We have a small house. I’ve mentioned this before. We have nine people living in 1289 square feet and it works… it even works well. But the house is full. I’ve gone down to bare minimum to live fairly comfortably but it still leaves us with a full house. And I’m okay with that.
I thought.
I rarely invite people over. It stresses me out. I have always said it’s because where will they sit? Our table just fits us. The kids can sit on the floor or play outside, but the two couches and one chair that fill our living room barely seat our family if the kids want to join us.
What will people think?!
That’s what it comes down to. I look at our life that is so very different than many others and fear what people with think. That they’ll be inconvenienced by being in our home and think poorly of the family we have. I’ve never considered trying to keep up with the Joneses. But apparently, I have.
Imaginary stresses, anyone?
I’ve come to conclude that they will either see a family, larger than most, living and loving and growing and happy, or they’ll criticize the space we don’t have, the five girls sharing one small bedroom, the boys sharing their room with the schoolbooks, the one bathroom that might as well have a rotating door it’s used so often.
But really, why do I care about the latter?
Coming to terms with these thoughts this morning. Trying to learn to get over it, commit to more hospitality and less concern over what others might think. After all, I love my little house. It serves us well. It has crooked old hardwood floors that I love and no carpet and is totally kid friendly. It has colorful walls and a fabulous wood furnace, a concrete patio to play on and five acres that provide room to run for my children and a giant tree in the front yard that boasts four swings.
How is it that, in choosing to embrace life and the gifts God has bestowed me in my children, I have shunned the world’s view of normal and acceptable, and yet I still care what is normal and acceptable?
I love your house. I love how you have arranged it. I love the coziness. I love the lived in look. (I don’t really enjoy the “show room” homes.) When I come over, I don’t come to see your house, I come to see you!!! Don’t be afraid to have people over. Those who care about you will enjoy being there…NO MATTER WHAT!! We will never be able to please everyone, so we need to be content being ourselves and being a blessing to those God has blessed us with and sharing what He has blessed us with. So take a step of faith and let God use you to be a blessing and you will be surprised at the blessings you will get in return.
Thank you for being willing to open your home yesterday to Becky. She really enjoyed the visit. Thank you for your hospitality.
It was so fun to see her for a bit! I miss your family.
You know what, Adrienne, you’re right. And I’m glad you posted about this. Our house is slightly smaller and our boys share their bedroom with the school books too. One bathroom…..yeah, it gets a lot of use. I know y’all have done a lot of work on your place and you probably feel like you need to do more. We sure do. They used to dry tobacco in this house and it shows. Until this winter when Jay started working on it, the kitchen floor was rotted and sunk. It’s way better now but there’s still a hole clear through the floor that I have a rug over. The front of the roof is rotting and I worry when people drive up that they’ll think we’re poor white trash…….and then when they come in my kitchen…….. But the kitchen is getting better and we gutted the bathroom and redid it-it’s just not finished, and I’ve painted all the rooms. All the kid’s dressers are falling apart of course and we’re out of beds-waiting on Jay to build another bunk bed. Every time I get pregnant, I think people must be wondering why we are doing this again instead of fixing up this old beater. But amazingly, when ladies come over from our church, they feel blessed by our kids and somehow they see our house through different eyes than I do. And, yet, it makes me feel extremely stressed out to think of having people over….hmmm.
And here’s the kicker. On Easter, we went over to my husband’s brother’s in NC after church. They have 9 kids in a 1200 square foot house. When I thanked my sister-in-law later, I told her how tidy the house looked and she was shocked. All she saw was what she wasn’t getting done and dirt etc. that needed to be cleaned. But we were blessed because she had us over anyway. Yes, painful as it is, it’s something I somehow need to do better on. Thanks!
Well- I just came to enjoy the garden with you. What I saw was a beautiful family, living life to the fullest in a beautiful setting. I had a conversation today- a good friend came over yesterday and everything was in chaos because I’d rather go out and play when the weather is nice. I didn’t worry about her seeing the mess and she didn’t mind it. Now, when my dear Mother in law comes, I work myself to death to get everything put up or well hidden…! You all looked happy and everyone got along great. I think you’re on the right track, little Sis!