5 days out: goodbye, routine. Hello, padded room.

Life is just a little bit crazy right now. Blaine went back to work today, and Ellie met the pediatrician and got checked out. She’s doing fabulously, had gotten down to 9 lbs. 1 oz. but was at 9 lbs. 2 oz. today so we’re climbing again. Her heart sounds perfect, she’s not jaundiced, and we couldn’t ask for anything more.

But. How do you take seven children into a doctor’s clinic smoothly? How do you take less than twelve minutes to get everyone into the van and buckled? To carry an infant car seat or to put baby in sling? Stroller – double to contain Pierce too, or single and have Pierce walk? All these questions, along with about a hundred more, have yet to be answered. Hello, overwhelmed. I managed to lose Pierce for about 30 seconds in a small store, (he was by the toys mere feet away, but that didn’t stop the moment of panic) forget to pack a few things we really wished we had taken, forget to change the baby’s diaper before the situation became desperate, and we didn’t make it to three of the stores I’d hoped to make it to. It was a lesson in what not to do, pretty much.

When the doctor looked at my kids and said he really wanted to know how I do what I do, how I have such well behaved children, I couldn’t help but think… “Show them what overwhelmed looks like it. Show them what craziness really is. They’ll all be so terrified Momma’s about to lose the last thread of sanity she owns, they’ll fall into line and act like perfect little ducklings. Who knows… she might forget to feed them next. Yep, better keep your act together, or she’ll lose everything entirely. Our lunch is depending on it.”

I’ve had seven babies. Six times before, I’ve sponge bathed my babies, cared for their umbilical cord stump, waited for it to fall off. This time? I totally forgot. I decided Ellie needed a bath, took her into the shower with me, and was mid-suds when I realized I was not supposed to get her cord wet. Seriously?! Where is my brain? To top it all off, approximately 36 hours later, a friend was over, after spending the last 36 hours cleaning her cord with alcohol trying to ease my regret in having bathed a baby when they tell you not to. I was chatting with my friend when I looked down to the shoulder that Elliot had been resting on moments earlier. There stuck her cord, sitting on my shirt like something entirely revolting. Oh. My. Word.

The best part was when I was relaying the whole story to the pediatrician, waiting for him to scold me and tell me what horrible things I’d done to the well-being of Elliot’s perfectly shaped belly button (that no one will ever see in her teen and adult years, to be certain) and at the end of the story, the pediatrician laughed. He told me to leave it alone, put the rubbing alcohol away, and step away from my mommy guilt… and take a nap. Because apparently I need one.

Sterling drew me an owl picture. When I giggled at his rendition, he asked what was wrong. I pointed to the mouth of the owl, lips and all. I think Sterling was a bit offended at my reaction – until he realized he drawn lips on an owl. Oh, we laughed.

Ruby’s new line: “I was accidentally out of my mind.” She first said, “Is it ‘My brain is out of my mind’ or ‘My mind is out of my brain?'” Somewhere along the line, it’s evolved. I can’t bring myself to correct her. She makes me smile.

Comedic entertainment. It’s all that’s keeping me going right now.