1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. Facebook, Facebook, gmail, Facebook… incriminating only in where my time disappeared.
2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. Is this different than the I’M YELLING AT YOU font?
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? This I have figured out. I wash a lot of crib sheets. Corners into corners, then in half, all corners into one. Then… do your best to make it all nice and flat together. It’s pretty… sort of.
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? I use more cursive than manuscript. It’s faster and prettier!
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. Yep, this one I’m in complete agreement with.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories. Or blogs.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again. Blu Ray? We’re past CD’s???
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. Or hitting the print 75 copies button after walking away from the week’s church bulletin, praying I’ve caught all the asdf’s Ruby inputted between the letters of this week’s sermon title. 75 bulletins later is not a good time to find that mistake. Although the people in the congregation might get a good laugh out of it.
14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. My fridge freezer definitely needs one. But we just bought our first ever chest freezer, and it has one! Someone was thinking.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud than Kay. I’m laughing – but I’m leaving this one alone.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. That line says “Chocolate” in really, really small print. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! This I have yet to see.
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. Until they can stand on their own. Sometime before that happens, consider adding them to the laundry pile.
22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. So true.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,
in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. Charlie doesn’t have a snooze button. Good thing.
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
I didn’t write this, remember. Just laughed. Because well, Ruby’s whining today isn’t funny. And I did not get near enough sleep in the last 3 days to come up with anything nearly so funny on my own.
At church yesterday, Eden sounded like she was going to cough up one or both of her lungs. She did not sound like that at home. She does not sound like that today. So why, when we’re surrounded by people who prefer not to get sick (imagine that!) did that happen? I felt like a good nominee for worst mother of the year right about then. And some of the looks I got said I may have won a few votes too.